one year past....
Time moves so fast.
It would seem to me that it's been just about one year to the day since I started my first ever Daniel fast. I don't know who else in the group had already done one, but I knew it was my first. Nothing but fruits and veggies (basically) for many days. It's funny. It was such a huge deal to me then, but now I can't recall how many days it lasted. I think it was 10 because I remember counting down the days.
What's happened since then? It doesn't just seem like a year ago. It seems like, cliches aside, a lifetime ago. Who are those people in my memories? They, we, don't appear to be the same although our faces have similar features. I look back in my memories and I think we are an enigma. Something has changed. It's evolution I suppose.
I feel distant from the memory now. I think we went to see Upton towards the end of the fast. I remember standing outside Life Center, was it day nine or ten, I don't remember. But I remember smoking a cigarette with Chip and Merr and even over the taste of smoke and filter, all I could taste in my mouth was 10-day old "tart" ness from all the fruit and fruit drinks I'd eaten and drank that week. That's the memory that sticks out the most.
And I wonder to myself, "How can we be a year past that?" We've welcomed others into the circle, gathered together, agrued, had crises, mended, fractured again and now where are we? I don't feel at liberty to say because I can't categorize it. Maybe others could put it better. But I can't.
I look back on it now with a sense of sadness. I don't know how much I've progressed in the last year. I don't know if I was able to turn that fast into anything lasting, or if it was just 10 days that I forgot as soon as they were done. I can't say what's happening inside. Am I rotting? or growing?
Is there a difference?
Maybe one day we'll all try it again. Maybe that's in our path. But I don't know. I fear not. I hope I'm wrong. But maybe summer and the warm weather and porch settings will return with something in store.
Something unexpected. Something great.
It would seem to me that it's been just about one year to the day since I started my first ever Daniel fast. I don't know who else in the group had already done one, but I knew it was my first. Nothing but fruits and veggies (basically) for many days. It's funny. It was such a huge deal to me then, but now I can't recall how many days it lasted. I think it was 10 because I remember counting down the days.
What's happened since then? It doesn't just seem like a year ago. It seems like, cliches aside, a lifetime ago. Who are those people in my memories? They, we, don't appear to be the same although our faces have similar features. I look back in my memories and I think we are an enigma. Something has changed. It's evolution I suppose.
I feel distant from the memory now. I think we went to see Upton towards the end of the fast. I remember standing outside Life Center, was it day nine or ten, I don't remember. But I remember smoking a cigarette with Chip and Merr and even over the taste of smoke and filter, all I could taste in my mouth was 10-day old "tart" ness from all the fruit and fruit drinks I'd eaten and drank that week. That's the memory that sticks out the most.
And I wonder to myself, "How can we be a year past that?" We've welcomed others into the circle, gathered together, agrued, had crises, mended, fractured again and now where are we? I don't feel at liberty to say because I can't categorize it. Maybe others could put it better. But I can't.
I look back on it now with a sense of sadness. I don't know how much I've progressed in the last year. I don't know if I was able to turn that fast into anything lasting, or if it was just 10 days that I forgot as soon as they were done. I can't say what's happening inside. Am I rotting? or growing?
Is there a difference?
Maybe one day we'll all try it again. Maybe that's in our path. But I don't know. I fear not. I hope I'm wrong. But maybe summer and the warm weather and porch settings will return with something in store.
Something unexpected. Something great.
posted by gabe at
12:24 AM
1 Comments:
Don't give up Gabe. I know it's a tough time and things seem crazy, upside down, and all together messed up. It's in these times, when the night is the darkest, that God comes through and shines His light. The dark hour gives an opportunity for light to shine through situations that seem opaque. Keep pressing towards the Light. You're not alone --- never alone.
By
keith, At
5:38 PM
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