Mother's Day

I want to preface this piece by saying that I'm going to write about something of which I don't personally experience. However, I'm just going to write about it as I see it. No offense or harm is meant to anyone in this situation.
----
I have a wonderful mother. All those who meet her can see her heart. She's cheesy, yes, and usually incredibly happy and outgoing. She has a heart of gold and in the entirety of my 24 years has shown me nothing but love. It's only been recently that I've really seen this.

For some reason, at the end of my college career (and the start of my working life), I had accrued some resentment towards her and to this day, I don't know why. I feel like an asshole now, because she's never done anything but love me. She's offered to help with bills, she lets me live at home rent free. She's always happy to give advice, while never telling me what I should do. She's a lovely person and I'm smart enough to thank God for her every day.

But right now, my heart hurts for those not so lucky. I'm hurting for those who didn't have a great mother, either in the past, or all their lives. To you, friends, I send my love and sympathy, knowing that it will never be enough to cover the gap left by an unloving mother.

I'm not naive. I realize that alot of the time (most of the time) this has nothing to do with the children themselves, but solely with the mother, the life she's led, and probably, the mother she had. But understanding the roots of the problem doesn't take away the sting of hurt.

From where I see it, it comes from a place of jealousy. Mothers seeming not to care, or indifferent, or just plain mean, because the child they've carried for nine months now lives a more productive life than they ever dreamed of. And while most parents rejoice at the thought of their children living a better life than they did, some don't feel so great about that. So they dig and prod and say things that dig deeper than any knife.

They slowly strip away that life. Their words are like poison, infecting the mind and soul, whether the kids can admit it or not. I've seen bits and pieces of this throughout my life and my heart hurts for these kids, forever kids because they didn't have the nurturing that they should have had. I'm pissed at the mothers, and the mothers of mothers that have caused this.

Again, I don't have personal experience with this. So I hope to anyone in this situation about which I speak knows that they have my sympathy, my undying love. And hopefully, someday, ammends will be made; love will win out.

I'd like to think that one day, all parents who have hurt their children will understand the damage done. I hope forgiveness and apologies will be shared before its too late. Because the only thing worse, I'd imagine, than living with this, is dying with this. I don't wish that upon anyone, because from what I know, you can't forgive a dead person; you can't be asked for forgiveness by someone in the grave.

So to you, dear friends, who fight the demons of unfit mothers, father, grandparents or guardians, I want you to know that I deeply love you and wish upon the brightness of a million stars that my love, as small as it may seem, would heal every wound you ever had.

That my love, as insignifant as it might be, could loose you from all the binds of your desecrated youth.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

it's ironic that the best revenge is love.