misguided or misled?

when we met
i had butterflies in my stomach
i was looking for something new
i was looking for the answer

we met in the middle of summer
when the days were long and hot
i was on the rebound
coming offf yet another rejection
to me, you were light

i had stars in my eyes
and your words sucked me in
was i misguided?
or was i misled?

the beginning was beautiful
something usually reserved for story books
i fell for you, hard
and i thought you were going to be my savoir

i looked forward to being together
to spending the hours in your arms
changing the world
my outlook was bright
we were something to be reckoned with

but like with all good things
something started to change
i got irritated with you
and wanted my space
i felt misguided
i felt misled

so now here i am
again, feeling alone
what went wrong?
is this just something that happens?
after the initial rush of something new wears off?

who's fault is this?
like always, i blame myself
but this time, i'm not so sure

but i'm left with the questions
because now the sight of you repulses me
it shakes my soul
in exactly the opposite way it use to

i try to stay friends
sometimes we hang out
but something isn't clicking
it's awkward and uncomfortable

to let go of something i wanted so desperately to love
what happened to us?
it seemed to right, seemed like the perfect fit
and now, it's as if we never were

i can shoulder some of the blame
i wasn't as devoted as i could have been
i didn't give you the time that i should have
but as much as i tried, you couldn't hear my cries
you couldn't comfort me when i was down

the distance was too great
you found acceptance in other things
other people, other projects
you forgot about me
and i, in turn, have forgotten about you

i can shoulder some of the blame
i placed to much value in your ideals
i placed too much hope in your
makeshift salvation

i was misguided to think
that this institution was going to be my redemption
i was misled to think
that this relationship was going to be different from the previous ones

i made the mistakes
you made the mistakes
perhaps now it's time to make a clean break

i can find something new, something real
you can find something else to occupy your time

this is not your fault. nor mine
you're a good thing and you're helping people

i hope this finds you happy and prosperous
and growing into the church that you're suuposed to be
we're going to make it through this
and who knows? maybe in time
we'll be reunited

but if not, know that i love you regardless
the same as you love me
i guess the timing just wasn't right

because i was misguided in my expectations
and misled in my execution

god speed to you. and never forget...
that UR , and will forever be, a friend