little

the sad truth is that i have miraculously little faith these days. and i mean that across the wide spectrum of things in which faith is important. i've lost so much. there seems to be that point when you know you'll return to something somewhere down the road, but for the mean time you have to let it go. i feel like i've crossed that line. i've just had it with so much stuff and it beat me. whatever "it" is, it has pumelled the shit out of me. and i don't mean that in a way that suggests i walk around all day with my nose scraping the groud. because that's not what i mean. what i mean is that i've had it with people and their bullshit. that i've had it with the "man" and the "institution" and not just the church. but the government and the law and all of that stuff. yes, i'm defeated by the president and the cronies with whom he runs this country. but more than that, i've had it with those who so vigorously defend the hateful policies coming out of this administration. i've so had it with love being demonized and trivialized; constrained by the borders of gender. i've had it with all of that shit. i've had it with the belief that your thoughts are better than mine; that somehow your thoughts are sanctioned from some greater power. i've had it with that. and i'm defeated by those who continue to drape their bible in the flag and then smash someone's face in with it. so this is my piss off to bush and falwell; rove and robertson alike. take all of shit and shove it because soon its not going to matter. and so help us if you get your way. so help us all if your agenda wins out. then we'll really be sorry. because you've already claimed one momentary victim: me. i've had it with you and all that you stand for, so for now i'm walking away and i'm not slinking away. i'm walking away with head held high.

tried to yesterday

I tried to write yesterday, but nothing came out. I don't know what I want to write or say, but that's nothng new. I guess as cheesy as it sounds, I hope that everyone who reads this is well. If you want to read some more of my blogs, head over to the myspace page. it's just something else that's been occupying my time lately.

www.myspace.com/gspece

There you will find some blogs to keep you entertained.

This is all so informal and not-very-worthy of blogdom, but I guess I just wanted to open the door back to my blog, because it's been far too long since I've updated this one.

I hope you're all well. I'm doing ok. love you all.
-gabe